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Hey Everyone . . .
It’s been a while since my last entry . . . as Maxwell Smart would say, “Sorry about that, Chief”. I’ve been in the hospital with Acute Pancreatitis for almost 3 weeks and am now recovering at home. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy (and I do have one); this was just awful!
And without health care insurance, it just compounds the financial trouble we’re all already in.
BUT THE REAL STORY IS FARRAH FAWCETT!
And MICHAEL JACKSON!
GOOD GOD!
Is death all around us OR WHAT?!
And from what the nurses tell me, they “lost me” twice, but brought me back. I don’t remember a thing and I did not see the white light or any relatives . . . whatever . . . Yeah, it’s kind of sucky down here on Planet Earth right now but it’s better than the alternative.
I won’t list everyone we’ve lost in the past month—there have been too many: Ed McMahon, Billy Mays, the French Airliner coming from Argentina, Danny Gans (for those of you not in Vegas—Danny was one of our consummate entertainers!) and I understand another French Airliner just went down today in the Indian Ocean with about 155 missing, with a 5 year old kid the sole survivor; can you imagine what he’s feeling after what he’s just experienced at that young age; it’s a wonder any of us turn out anywhere near “normal”—whatever “normal” is . . . but if any of our dearly departed are out there or up there listening . . . we miss you and we’re thinking about you and many of us are truly starting to deal with our own mortality; not a happy subject, but necessary.
Farrah’s death was particularly disturbing to me and probably to a lot of us. It wasn’t quick. It was painful. She kept a positive attitude and held on to her smile for herself and all of us. The doctors kept telling her she was cancer free, then the damn stuff would come back. Damn! We can send folks to the Moon, but we can’t cure cancer! DAMN!
I’m one of the lucky ones; I survived my recent hospital stay, but with no guarantees. I only mention this because of the shows on TV right now that showed Farrah being stuck with one needle after another, and the plastic tubes going in and out of every orifice—I recognized them all and have just experienced them all. Farrah, I’m sorry. I relate. I commiserate with you. I feel your pain. I am so very sorry. I hope our love from afar helped just a tad . . .
It was so very nice to see Ryan returning and walking this walk with you. I’m fortunate to have someone in my life, too. It surprises me that 52% of us end up in divorce now; life is so much easier to get through if we’ve got someone watching our back and holding our hand. Ryan, you’ve got my respect!
I’d like to try now and start remembering the Farrah we all knew and loved. She was a small town girl; so many of us related. She was gorgeous; so many of us wanted to be, but if we couldn’t be, we could live vicariously through Farrah. Thank you again, Sweetie!
Farrah was a Model and an Actress. I, for one, knew that long before the Burning Bed and the critics finally recognized her talent. In particular, everyone should go out and find “Sunburn”. It was one of Farrah’s first movies. That little flick co-starred Charles Grodin and Joan Collins. It was filmed in Acapulco so the scenery continued to battle Farrah for the audience’s attention; sorry Acapulco, but Farrah’s looks, smile and warmth won out in every scene. It was a little movie but Farrah made it big. I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. I taped it years ago with my old VCR and still watch it a couple times of year; normally when I’m feeling old or blue or just out of sorts. After you watch “Sunburn”, you’ll feel alive and ready to face the world again. Thank you, Farrah!
And back in 1969 or 1970 I took my Grandmama to see a movie called “Myra Breckenridge” starring Rachel Welch, Mae West and featuring lots of Hollywood’s best; including a small role with Tom Selleck. Yeah, it was kind of a decadent piece but well worth the film stock if you’ll really watch and then dissect the subtext. Yes, Grandmama was shocked while I was amused and realized I was gonna end of leaving Florida for Hollywood. And that was one of my better decisions, I may add. My point is, it may have starred Raquel Welch but one could not forget the warmth of that Farrah Fawcett smile. She was young, timid, open, warm, gorgeous and in my humble opinion, made the movie worth watching! And that smile! If there is one person who defines the word “smile” in Webster’s, it should be Farrah with that incredible smile! I love ya wherever you are. You will be missed and the world is a gloomier place without you! Thank you for being who you are and who you were! I hope there was someone in your life that gave you as much as you gave us!
(And hopefully, your passing will help your son find sobriety. “Hey Dude! Wake up! What’s up with you?!”)
Now, Michael, it’s your turn. I want to talk to you. I want to hold you and take away your pain. We all miss you already! I am still in the same state of shock the rest of the World is in. What happened? Where are you? Planet Earth misses you! Why did you leave us so soon? I know there was so much more inside you to share! I want to tell you how your music and your dancing changed everything. I want you to know how much you were adored. Did you know it? Did it change you? Did you feel love and feel secure in who you were? So many of us admired you and I’m sure many did love you, as much as one stranger can love another person from afar. Your music got so many of us through some difficult times. And your music always enhanced good times and seemed to make them even better. Thank you Michael. But what about you? You’re part of us. What about you?
I don’t want to tell you again what thousands are already telling you and have told you. You are the King of Pop; that’s a given. You changed the world musically. You gave us so much. My favorite was and still is “Earth Song”! When I first saw that Video on MTV or was it VH1 some years back and heard the music—I was blown away! Tears streamed down the face! There’s the World’s proof that you are and were much deeper than most critics maybe gave you credit for. I always knew it. Did you know it? The Earth Song was the epitome of all that is good and bad with the World and with this species called the Human Race. Words can’t be found to express just how “deep” the music and lyrics are. As Superman once said, “You are a great people.” Why can’t the rest of the world see what you saw, Michael? I saw what you were trying to tell us. I’m sure many others saw what you were trying to tell us; that’s why you were so popular. Maybe, in time, you will have helped change the world. I believe it will happen.
I’ve only got one real question for you, darling, now that you’ve moved on to another plane: did you ever know love? The love between two humans; the love that reassures you at 2 o’clock in the morning when you wake up frightened after a bad dream? I pray you did have that kind of love at some time in your life. If you didn’t and that was the price you had to pay for your genius, I’m sorry. When all is said and done, there’s nothing like that kind of 2am love, to make you feel safe and secure; you know, that feeling that we humans were not born with. It’s the feeling we all search for. It’s not really money or fame when you get right down to it. It’s 2am love. I hope you had that at least once in your life. What about you?
We love you Michael! Thank you for everything! I pray you find peace. I pray you find 2am love wherever you are. What about us? What about you?
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